Theory 1: In elementary school, there are certain boys you spend a lot of time with. Not necessarily because you want to spend time with them, mind, but because you're stuck in the same classroom all day, and your seats are assigned to you so it's not as if you get to choose who your seat buddies are. But once middle school hits, all of that changes. You go from class to class every period of the day, and even then two of those classes I had (gym and choir) were strictly girls-only. My time spent with boys was severely limited and I never had enough time to get to know any of them. Therefore, no romance developed, and there were no crushes during that time period.
Theory 2: I've always been pretty shy; I didn't have any friends until I was six years old and even then I only had a grand total of one. This became worse in the later elementary schools when bullying led to a nervous breakdown and years worth of counseling. Good times. Anyway, because of this shyness, I sort of reverted to means of 'getting out of my head' so to say. No, for me it was never drugs or alcohol... it was always books. Books were everything. I would spend about six to seven hours of reading a night, mainly for the blissful reason that while I read, I didn't have to be me, and at that point in time, I hated 'me'. And in Junior High when I discovered Japanese comic books (manga) this became even more so. I developed a sort of idealized version of what a 'boy' was. In the stories I read, were the boys not perfect individuals who adored their female counterparts, loving every habit, every quirk, every flaw? Was it not the boy's job to do everything in a relationship? To approach the girl and do all the difficult bits for her?
So I was naive and deluded. So what.
I did eventually grow out of this and got to know actual 'boy people'. And I was very disappointed. They weren't perfect! They weren't polite and always handsome and always the chivalrous being that loved every part of my personality at first glimpse! These were annoying. I didn't want a boy. Maybe I wanted a robot.
Which brings us to today. For the past four years I haven't done much in regards to romance or relationships. I've never been to a school dance or a football game. I made it a point to ignore all boys, to look at couples with judgemental disdain. And it worked out just fine; I ignore them, they ignore me.
UNTIL NOW. I don't know what it is. I am in the middle of my senior year of high school and am often informed that I look like a freshman. I still wear the same clothes that I wore in Junior High-- I have not grown an inch since seventh grade. My hair is the same; always knotted up into a messy bun. I refuse to wear makeup. I still wear the thickly framed nerd-glasses. I haven't exactly become less frosty towards people. So why on earth have three boys all of a sudden started stalking me?!THREE.
Boy 1: A nice nerdy-boy (I generally prefer nerdy types to... any other type) who often flirts by leaning against my desk and saying 'hey; you catch the political debate last night?' No, that is not exaggerating or being dramatic, Shannon. :) He really does say that. And believe it or not, I was somewhat charmed. It was kind of cute. He's my age, and he's into the same geeky comic books and computer games I like. Maybe this would have been OK. Sure, the way he stares at me like a lion regarding a sick water buffalo was a little disconcerting, but hey; I've already moved past the delusion that boys were flawless.
And then Boy 2 stepped in. And this cat was just plain weird. I'd been in classes with him before but had never paid too much attention to him, and out of nowhere he asks me if I had a boyfriend. A little taken aback, I truthfully answered no. And so he declared that he was my boyfriend and proceeded to hug me at every opportunity he got, stroking my hair without ever once asking me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. (I've told him multiple times and under no uncertain terms to knock it off. I remain ignored. I remind myself daily of the anti-violence rules in school.)
And then there's Boy 3. Oh, boy 3... He was the one boy who had actually been my friend for a long time. I had actually considered breaking my no-love code just for him; I liked him that much 'as a friend', but he must have guessed that I liked him because two years ago he basically said he'd never like me that way. Alright, ouch, but I'm a big girl; I could handle it. But apparently he heard that Boy 2 is now my boyfriend (Seriously. He's not. I have to agree to it, right?) and it made him angry... apparently he has always been enemies with Boy 2 and this just was the straw that broke the camel's back? So now he's mad at both of us and keeps following me around saying "You know I love you, right?!" A little over the top, boy 3.
All I can say to any of this unwanted attention is: UGH.
